Darkness of Vegita
by Lady Foeseeker
Summary: One Shot! Vegita reflects on what he is, thinking about some unanswered questions.


Darkness  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the poem. That is mine and it is original. Take without permission and I will be as good as my name. I am the Foeseeker, after all.  
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It was dark there, inside his mind. He couldn't escape what he was, what he'd been, what he'd have to be. The man's body slumped wearily in defeat. How could anyone understand what he'd had to go through? What had to be? He clenched his hands into fists, corded sinews standing out on his arms from the strain he was putting on them. His nails dug into his palms, blood dripping slowly off of his knuckles. What was he? What had he become?  
  
Nobody bother to love me,  
Nobody bothered to care  
Nobody bothered to see it my way,  
Nobody bothered to dare.  
  
He felt empty. Hurt. He couldn't take anymore of the cheerful people around him. They didn't understand why he was the way he was. What had happened to make him so melancholy. He was the perfect brooding type, with his dark looks. The man slowly rose from his seated position, his head still tilted back to look at the stars above him, fists still clenched from anger.  
  
What is this feeling inside me?  
That emptiness cannot fill?  
What is this place inside of my heart  
In which longing confusion swills?  
  
Without trying he picked out where his home planet had been. Where he could have been ruling right then. But if he was there, he wouldn't have his mate, or his gaki of a son. Wouldn't have his family. If he could do it all over again, would he do it the same? Would he give everything he had to make it this far? He wasn't sure. So much had happened that he wished he could take back. But if it meant that he wouldn't have the life he did now, would it be worth it?  
  
Do I dare to follow  
The empty path life takes?  
Or do I dare to forage ahead  
Despite the hard pitfalls and quakes?  
  
He shook his head, trying to get rid of the mocking thought. What could he have done differently besides die? There was nothing he could think of. No one ever escaped Freezia, to his knowledge. But what if he had tried? What if... He cut off the thought. It did him no good to think it. His head drooped again as he buried his head in his hands leaving bloody hand prints. "Saiya-Jins do not cry." He muttered to himself softly, fighting a loosing battle to mourn his family, his planet, and the life he should have had.  
  
Which way do I go to get forward?  
How can I leave my past?  
What do I do to get out of here,  
How do I do it fast?  
  
He let a few tears past his guard, no one was around to see him show emotion. If it made him feel better, he would try anything. All he wanted to do was to forget. To forget what he'd done, to forget what could have happened if he had followed Freezia's orders concerning earth. What he would have done to his mate. He didn't want to think of such things, but like a nightmare, they always seem to return to hunt you.  
  
What happens if I change my mind?  
Turn around to go back?  
Am I stopped by my lost past...  
Or am I allowed to change track?  
  
Was he really a changed person? Capable of showing affection? Emotion? The crystalline tears he'd shed had trickled down his face, leaving clear tracks through the blood he'd smeared on it, and dropped onto his hands. They felt hot. He tasted the track one had left across his lips. Salty and hot, they tasted of blood. Tears of rage and hatred and injustice. And, for the first time, tears of sorrow. His home was a pile of ash, his people a memory. He was the prince of a dead race. A race that the universe probably rejoiced to see die. The warrior prince gave a small his as the tears hit the gashes in his palms, mixing with even more of his crimson blood. What had he become?  
  
What am I always forgetting  
That makes me feel so unreal?  
What do I wish to remember,  
That makes me feel real?  
  
He bit his lip and went back to watching the stars. They seemed so cool there in the sky, but they were really burning. It felt a bit like himself. Trying to be unapproachable, cool, confident. Above the others around him. It worked until he met Kakarotto. The third class baka. Vegita bit his lip. He tried to make others believe he didn't like the other warrior, that he was only out for his blood, but he wasn't, not always. The third class Saiya-Jin was the closest thing that he had to a friend. The only one who didn't judge by what he had done or said, but what he did. The only other two people in the world like that were Bulma and Trunks.  
  
Everything is like a blur  
Lost within this time  
Fantasies and dreams turn real  
Dancing in my mind.  
  
Trunks. That brought him to another little mystery. What made him fall in love and have a brat in the first place? Not that he'd ever admit it was love to anyone besides his mate, but that was beside the point. He had to be getting soft. Still, it amazed him that Trunks looked up to him without any reason other than the fact he was Trunks' father. He could do anything and it would be all right, at least to Trunks. He only hoped that when the boy got older, he wouldn't be ashamed of his father's past.  
  
Watching through the windows  
The eyes into the soul  
Falling into Darkness  
Praying to be whole.  
  
And here he was, staring at the stars, trying to separate his past from his future. If only for a brief moment in time, he wasn't Vegita, the Killer, or Vegita the Fallen Prince, or even just Vegita the warrior. For a brief moment in time, he was only Vegita, the Saiya-Jin, trying to make a future that didn't repeat his past. And, not for the first time, nor the last, he was thankful that he was here. Thankful that he wasn't judged by anything other than what he did. And thankful for the people that gave him a second chance. His family. And thankful for the Third class baka that spared him when he was weak. For showing him just what mercy was.  
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I came up with this on a bit of a whim, thought it was pretty descent, and decided to post it. Tell em what you think, I've never really done a song fic, not that it is. The lyrics are MINE! I made them up. You take them ,and I will find a way to sue you. Unless, of course, you ask.  
~*~ Lady Foeseeker ~*~ 


End file.
